There are several reasons for drinking:
And one has just entered my head;
If a man cannot drink when he’s living,
How the Hell can he drink when he’s dead?
Fools make feasts and wise men eat them;
Wise men make jests and fools repeat them.
Use three physicians' skill: first Dr. Quiet,
Then Dr. Merriman, and Dr. Diet.
We men have many faults. poor women have but two: —
There’s nothing good they say;
There’s nothing good they do.
We constantly hear O'Flannagan say,
"I gave him a piece of my mind,”
Which is why, when so much has been given away,
So little remains behind.
Ned calls his wife his counter-part
With truth as well as whim;
Since veery impulse of her heart
Runs counter still to him.
ON A LADY WHO BEAT HER HUSBAND
Come hither, Sir John, my picture is here.
What think you, my love, don’t it strike you?
I can’t say it does just at present, my dear,
But I think it soon will, it’s so like you.
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