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    Главная » 2009 » Ноябрь » 9 » Анекдоты на английском языке

    Анекдоты на английском языке
    17:39

    Amazing Anagrams Dormitory 
    Dirty Room Desperation
    A Rope Ends It The Morse Code 
    Here Come Dots Slot Machines
    Cash Lost in 'em Animosity 
    Is No Amity Snooze Alarms
    Alas! No More Z's Alec Guinness
     Genuine Class Semolina
     Is No Meal The Public Art Galleries
     Large Picture Halls, I Bet A Decimal Point
     I'm a Dot in Place The Earthquakes 
    That Queer Shake Eleven plus two
     Twelve plus one Contradiction 
     
    Accord not in it This one's amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Becomes: In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten. And the grand finale: "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." - Neil A. Armstrong becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!
     
    Let's face it
    English is a stupid language.
    There is no egg in the eggplant
    No ham in the hamburger
    And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
    English muffins were not invented in England
    French fries were not invented in France
     
    We sometimes take English for granted
    But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
    Quicksand takes you down slowly
    Boxing rings are square
    And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
    If the plural of tooth is teeth
    Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
    If the teacher taught,
    Why didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetables
    What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
    Why do people recite at a play
    Yet play at a recital?
    Park on driveways and
    Drive on parkways You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
    Of a language where a house can burn up as
    It burns down
    And in which you fill in a form
    By filling it out
    And a bell is only heard once it goes! English was invented by people, not computers
    And it reflects the creativity of the human race
    (Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why
    When the stars are out they are visible
    But when the lights are out they are invisible
    And why it is that when I wind up my watch
    It starts
    But when I wind up this observation,
    It ends.
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