ТВОРЧЕСТВО НАШИХ СТУДЕНТОВ

With an Upper-Intermediate group we did some drilling tasks after reading and translating quite a tricky (for translation) and very beautiful text called "In a season of calm weather” by R.Bradbury. After a long but fruitful struggle while translating the text, some of the students came up with rather decent variants of translation. One of the most beautiful parts of description was offered for translation.

We’d like to share the task and the variants of translation with you.

Fill in the missing words in the text. Pay attention to the word-forms.

Unicorn, unrevelled,to savour, perspiration, to skip, flesh, to stitch, to pipe, to whirl, copper, meadow, to strew, to gambol.

George Smith looked down at the sand. And, after a long while, looking, he began to tremble.

For there on the flat shore were pictures of Grecian lions and Mediterranean goats and maidens with ________ of sand like powdered gold and satyrs ________ on hand-carved horns and children dancing, _________ flowers along and along the beach with lambs _________ after and musicians __________ to their harps and lyres, and __________ racing youths towards distant_________, woodlands, ruined temples and volcanoes. Along the shore in a never-broken line, the hand, the wooden stylus of this man bent down in fever and raining _____________, scribbled, ribboned, looped around over and up, across, in, out, ___________, whispered, stayed, then hurried on as if this travelling bacchanal must flourish to its end before the sun was put out by the sea. Twenty, thirty yards or more the nymphs and dryads and summer founts sprang up in ____________ hieroglyphs. And the sand, in the dying light, was the colour of molten ___________ on which was now slashed a message that any man in any time might read and__________ down the years. Everything___________and poised in its own wind and gravity. Now wine was being crushed from under the grape-blooded feet of dancing vintners' daughters, now steaming seas gave birth to coin-sheathed monsters while flowered kites strewed scent on blowing clouds... now... now... now....

Key:
George Smith looked down at the sand. And, after a long while, looking, he began to tremble.

For there on the flat shore were pictures of Grecian lions and Mediterranean goats and maidens with flesh of sand like powdered gold and satyrs piping on hand-carved horns and children dancing, strewing flowers along and along the beach with lambs gambolling after and musicians skipping to their harps and lyres, and unicorns racing youths towards distant meadows, woodlands, ruined temples and volcanoes. Along the shore in a never-broken line, the hand, the wooden stylus of this man bent down in fever and raining perspiration, scribbled, ribboned, looped around over and up, across, in, out, stitched, whispered, stayed, then hurried on as if this travelling bacchanal must flourish to its end before the sun was put out by the sea. Twenty, thirty yards or more the nymphs and dryads and summer founts sprang up in unravelled hieroglyphs. And the sand, in the dying light, was the colour of molten copper on which was now slashed a message that any man in any time might read and savour down the years. Everything whirled and poised in its own wind and gravity. Now wine was being crushed from under the grape-blooded feet of dancing vintners' daughters, now steaming seas gave birth to coin-sheathed monsters while flowered kites strewed scent on blowing clouds... now... now... now....

Гордеева Юля

Джордж Смит посмотрел на песок. После продолжительного времени он начал трепетать.

Здесь на ровном песчаном берегу были изображения греческих львов и средиземноморских козлов и дев с кожей, как золотая пудра, и сатиров, играющих на резных рожках, и детей, танцующих и осыпающих цветами весь берег, с ягнятами, скачущими вслед музыкантам, играющих на арфах и лирах, и единорогов, уносящих молодых людей к дальним лугам, лесам, разрушенным замкам и вулканам. Вдоль берега непрерывной линией, не отрываясь, деревянная палочка этого склонившегося, увлеченного, покрытого испариной мужчины делала наброски, вычерчивала, вырисовывала завитки вверх, вниз, вдоль и поперек, вверх и вниз. Мужчина шептал что-то, замирал, и снова спешил, так, как будто это парящее творение кисти должно было успеть отдать все до заката солнца. Двадцать, тридцать ярдов и более – нимфы и дриады, летние ключи возникали в причудливых иероглифах. И песок под лучами заходящего солнца приобрел оттенок расплавленной меди, на котором было высечено послание, которое любой человек в любые эпохи мог прочесть и жадно наслаждаться им в течение многих лет. Все кружилось и парило по своим законам природы и гравитации. Теперь из под ног дочерей виноделов брызжет вино, теперь бурлящие моря порождают чешуйчатых монстров, пока цветные воздушные змеи оттеняли густые пролетающие облака…

Пьянзина Юля

Джордж Смит посмотрел на песок, и спустя некоторое время он начал дрожать…

Здесь на берегу были изображены греческие львы и средиземные козы, девы, чьи песчаные тела были словно покрыты золотой пыльцой, сатиры, играющие на свирелях ручной работы, дети, в танце разбрасывающие цветы далеко-далеко по берегу, ягнята, скачущие позади музыкантов, играющих на арфах и лирах, единороги, уносящие юных дев и парней далеко в луга, леса, к разрушенным замкам и вулканам. Вдоль берега непрерывной линией водила рука мужчины, лихорадочно склонившегося над своим творением и роняющего пот, она царапала, извивалась, закручивала завитки, взмывала вверх, чертила поперек, вдоль, вилась, взлетела и вновь останавливалась и снова спешила, как будто ее порыв должен был непременно завершиться, пока солнце не опустится за море. Двадцать, тридцать ярдов и более нимфы и дриады и летние ключи вырастали в причудливые иероглифы. И песок в затухающем свете становился цвета меди, на котором оставалось послание для любого человека из любой эпохи, которое он мог прочитать и вдохновиться. Все это подчинялось своим собственным законам и гравитации. Сейчас вино, брызжущее из-под танцующих дочерей виноградарей, сейчас брызжущее море дает жизнь чудовищам в блестящей чешуе, пока причудливые краски отражаются на перистых облаках, сейчас…сейчас…сейчас…

Take a look at the translation of a professional and compare to the original text. All the 3 variants are unique. In some parts the girls’ variants of translation are even closer to the  original text.

В штиль. Рассказ Рэя Брэдбери
Переводчик: Наталья Иоффе

Джордж Смит смотрел на песок. Прошло много времени, и, глядя вниз, он стал трепетать.

Ибо там, на ровном берегу, были греческие львы и средиземноморские козы, девушки с телами из золотистого песка и сатиры, играющие на резных ножках, дети, которые, танцуя, осыпали цветами берег, и прыгающие им вслед ягнята, юные музыканты с арфами и лирами, бешено проносящиеся по просторным лугам, мимо вулканов и разрушенных храмов.

Человек, не разгибая спины и обливаясь потом, выводил узоры на песке, и непрерывная линия рисунков стекала с его пальцев по деревянной палочке на берег.

Он кряхтел, топтался вокруг своих созданий, что-то бормотал и наносил новые штрихи; иногда он останавливался, но тут же спешил дальше, боясь, что вакханалия не успеет завершиться до захода солнца. По линии берега на двадцать, на тридцать ярдов одна за другой появлялись нимфы, и дриады, иероглифы оживали, превращаясь в прохладные летние ключи. Песок под угасающими лучами солнца приобрел оттенок расплавленной меди, и на этом песке сейчас было высечено послание, которое человек любой нации во все времена мог бы прочесть без труда и долгие годы переживать впечатление от него. Все здесь кружилось и парило, подчиняясь своим собственным, удивительным законам. Тут брызжет вино из-под ног дочерей виноделов, мнущих кроваво-красный виноград, там из дымящихся водоемов вырастают окаменелые чудовища, в то время как воздушные змеи питают зловониями густые белые облака, там...

Try to find the whole text on the Internet. It's worth reading.

We did a quizz with a group of Intermediate students. The students were supposed to match an expression of a famous person said unconsciously before his death to the author of the words.
The quizz was called Famous last words. The coincedence between the words and the accident was so striking that some students volonteered to prepare the reports. Yulia Pianzina wrote an essey. She tried to unlock the messages hidden in these last words.

Famous last words


Last words of famous people often become famous. It often happens that people can feel their approaching death. Remember Mozhart has been writing his "Requiem” just before the "event” or Harry Houdini who said: "I’m tired of fighting! I guess this thing’s gonna get me”. The same anticipation felt Oscar Wilde. His last words were "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or rhe other of us has to go”. Mr Wilde said this in the Leftv Bank hotel where he died in November, 30 1900. The wallpaper had since been removed and the room refurnished in the style of one of Mr.Wilde’s London flats.

Some people don’t know that they are going to die soon but their casual words become their last words. John Lennon’s last words were "Yes, I am”, whilst sitting in the back of a police car on the way to the hospital after the officers had asked him if he was John Lennon. Another well-known casual sentence belong to Elvis Presley – "I hope you wasn’t bored” after his last conference.

I think that genious’ words are fated to be genious. More than that if these are his thoughts before his death. "Drink to me, drink to my health, you know I can’t drink any more” – thus Picasso met the approaching death. And another genious Paul McCartney paid homage to Picasso in the song Picasso’s Last Words (Drink To Me). The same can be said about Ceasar’s words: "You too, Brute!”. They’ve become an aphorism. Or Michael Jackson’s "This is it”. Thus will subcequentely be called a film about the last days of the great man. When a famous American musician decided to end up his life he left a suicide note: "It’s better to burn out than to fade away”.

I think that when a person dies he brings a line under his life, his memories and those actions that he has committed. I’m sure that the last words of a person can tell us about his life much more than any words during his life.


 

Ниже- два сочинения, написанных Алексеем Маловым (группа Professional Learners). Я считаю, что они должны очень вдохновить тех взрослых студентов, которые начинают учить английский после окончания школы. Алексей пришел к нам уже после окончания вуза, причем технического. И за два года от уровеня Pre-Intermediate дошел до Advanced/Professional.

 

Текст 1 - резюме.

В нем есть две небольших ошибки, кто их заметит - пишите нам, нам будет интересно с вами встретиться. Но согласитесь, что текст написан сложным аутентичным языком, не Rusglish, как с недавных пор называют американцы русский вариант английкого языка.

 

   I work as a project manager in an innovative software company focused on high end rich media software development for global markets. Programs and services our company delivers to individual and corporate clients help people working in various fields of activity: education, marketing, medicine and communication. The development of elaborated software products requires well coordinated work of many people and the project manager’s role is of high importance.

   My current professional duties consist in scheduling and supervising product development process and assigning project tasks to the developers of my team. I also design the most complex parts of the software products and consult the developers when they face difficulties. I also negotiate the details and costs of the custom development services our department delivers to corporate clients.

   The efficient software project management requires the grasp of various skills: planning, organizing, software design, abstract thinking, and time and resource management. I think such skills are not innate but it is possible to hone them. It took me about 2 or 3 years to develop these qualities and I am still honing them working on new projects.

   Before being taken on my current place of work I tried and jacked in several jobs: information security engineer, a system administrator and even a computer game developer. Some jobs bored me, others weren’t well paid, and some of them were unpromising.

   I don’t think that university education provided me with a sufficient level of knowledge. Or, the more correct, I wasn’t making enough efforts in the university and sometimes played truant. Partly I can explain it or excuse myself by insufficient strictness of some teachers. But, of course, the main reason was my laziness and relieving me of responsibility for my future life. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons I teach programming subjects in the university. I want to share my knowledge with my students and give them the knowledge I was stripped of. Teaching the current generation of students requires searching for new ways of motivating them. And this is one more skill I need to develop.

 

Text 2 The present and the past of Yoshkar-Ola

 

Этот текст не очень большой, но обратите внимание на лексическую и синтаксическую аутентичность изложения:

 

Our city used to be a prominent regional industrial and transport center, however the Soviet Union collapse removed support for state enterprises which led to the shutdown of most manufacturing activity in the area. Once flourishing, most of our factories are now defunct or almost defunct. Today Yoshkar-Ola per capita income ranks among the nation’s lowest. The state of Yoshkar-Ola roads has improved little since 1990s and barely copes with increased number of vehicles which may turn our city into a traffic-clogged one. The increased road traffic compensated our city’s contribution into the global environment contamination. The appearance of clean up vehicles in our streets is still a long way off since it requires a sufficiently high standard of living.

 

ОЛЬГА СКУЛКИНА   с присущим ей чувством юмора написала в 10 классе следующее стихотворение, которое мы уже четвертый год с удовольствием вспоминаем. Редко наши ученики балуют нас стихами: 

 

Little Green Bug

Предыстория: зимой в класс залетело неизвестное, зеленое, довольно крупное насекомое. Солидные старшеклассники все, кроме некоей Аси, (упомянутой в стихах) визжали, как первоклашки, переполошив всех наших студентов и преподавателей. В «наказание» им было предложено написать дома стихотворение, начинающееся со слов Green Little Bug. Предлагаем одно из них:

Little green bug
Сlimbing the wall,
You’re stupid,
And not afraid at all.

Only Asya loves you,
Others hate you much.
Go away: unless you go,
You’ll be our lunch.

Well, I see you don’t go.
Can I ask you "Why”?
Yes, you want to live, and so?
You will not, unless you fly!

Well, green bug, I’m fed up,
And I am really tired.
You are just too arrogant!
(Bum!) Now it’s quiet.

Bug-loving ending

Please, my honey, fly, fly!
Go away, my cutie-pie!
Keep in touch, I’ll write a letter!
Shoo, my darling!
That is better!

(Ольга Скулкина, 11 класс, ныне — студентка 1 курса экономического факультета)

Our company produces the softest toilet paper ever used!!! We use ecologically clean materials – recycled paper, soft fabrics and plants. The market of toilet paper is full of our production, because people pay much attention to the comfort of their pleasant moments in the bathroom. It is our company that offers precisely what you are dreaming about!

In bygone days there used to be many competitors on the market of toilet paper. They have all been hit by our company but one — Zewa +. We have been thinking very hard about how we could devastate the apparent. And we have worked out a really sophisticated business plan.

1) As we still have some money to spare, the 1st thing we will do is slashing prices. This will entice people to try our product.

2) Then we are going to expand the parent company and create forty five affiliates all over the country.

The idea consists in creating shops, where you can find everything for your toilet. These are soft toilet mats, stickers for your bathroom, and, of course, toilet paper. The next step, by which we are going to inflict the blow on our competitors, is to surprise and shock the consumers.

Here are some shocking products:

1) Toilet paper for pets – dogs, cats and parrots.

2) Flower-scented toilet paper for women.

3) Toilet paper made of fur, leather and silk.

4) Exotic toilet paper, which is rough, grey and stinky.

5) Paper with cartoons on it. Each roll begins a new story. Your kids will not suffer from boredom in their bathrooms any more!

Our company is coming to everybody trying to encroach on what is rightfully ours. Our efficiency is ujp 30 per cent, and all it takes to become a monopoly is to make Zewa + a bankrupt.. That is what we are focusing on now.

After the closure of Zewa + we are going to broaden the company by 3 times and enlarge the profit margins. Our warehouses are full of high quality toilet paper and we advise everybody: